Tuesday, July 27, 2010


I miss that little man that holds my hand. :/


I hate that word. To me, transitions=let downs. i had such a wonderful time with my family and peter in maryland. seriously, one of the best visits yet. so coming back home is always such a let down. it is so hard for me to go back and forth because it is always like this when i get back. i get really depressed. i don't want to do anything. i just cry.

part of why it is so hard for me when i get back is because i just don't feel like i am fully living up to who i am supposed to be and what i am supposed to be doing. it doesn't seem like i will ever find the right job/career. i feel so useless and i hate the fact that i am a college grad with a front desk job. don't get me wrong, i do like my job but i just want to be doing so much more. and it doesn't seem like i can ever find that job that truly makes me happy. actually it just doesn't seem like i can find anything that makes me happy.

i wish i could be blogging about happier things...it's just so hard when the bad out weighs the good.

i just want to find that perfect job.
i want to stop crying all the time.
i want to be content with who i am and where i am.

i just want to be happy.

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