DIY-how poor people make rich (looking) things.

Well, it has been over 3 months now so I guess another blog post won't hurt.

Crafting...I have been crafting. A lot.

So, I wanted to share with you my latest "craft" which was inspired by my lovely friend, Erin.

How to make a headboard 101

1) Buy some ply wood to fit your bed. You can either buy it so it can be mounted on your wall or to where it will just prop up off of the floor. (I went for the second option since we are currently renting.)

2) Buy some batting or foam from walmart or a craft store

3) Choose the fabric you wish your headboard to be...I used 2 yards of table cloth material from walmart! This worked perfectly because I did not have to sew any fabric together to fit! You can also use a sheet or duvet cover. The possibilities are endless!

4) staple the material over the batting onto the wood!

That's it...easy as pie! And now for the finished product!

you are my sunshine

today i received an unexpected package in the mail. if you didn't know..i LOVE to get fun mail, especially packages. so, i of course could not wait to open it...so much so that i opened it my car!

i had no idea when i was opening the box that so much emotion was going to unfold. i just thought, how nice..mom and dad sent me a birthday gift :] what i got was so much more than a gift. it was a bag filled with so much love and happiness. needless to say, i teared up...big time!

their were so many wonderful treasures in this bag...sentimental charms for a bracelet, beautiful earrings for my newly re-pierced ears, a cupcake bag, the cutest keychain, worry dolls (which i need!), a REALLY good target giftcard, a sweet musical card with lovely words in it and this...




this little 4x4 piece of art had me in tears in a second. this gift was from my dad and he's one of the four sweetest men in my life. (my dad, my papa, my great uncle ed, and of course peter.) getting this from him meant the world to me. the relationship i have with my dad is very different from the one i have with my mom. i love both of my parents soooo much in different ways. i think it just really caught me off guard because mom's always do the shopping, right!? i guess i was wrong and to me, this gift is priceless.

my dad has always sung me "you are my sunshine" since i was a little girl. sometimes when i was feelin' like i needed some love i would just look at him and ask; "dad, am i your sunshine?" ... just so he would say it.

i love my parents so much and it makes me happy to know that they love me too .. and not only that...they love each other! today they celebrated their 30th anniversary!! that's not so common these days and i know i am one of the lucky ones.

thanks mom and dad for all that you do and all the ways you show me love. you are both so loved. i couldn't ever begin to describe the love and respect i have for both of you. i wish you were closer so i could hug you both right now.

so everyone, go hug your parents!

xoxo.

Me, myself, and god

This week I have been trying something new in order to make everyday a Sunday. Before I leave for work I pray that god would be a part of my day. It's only been two days but so far I can notice a difference in my days. Sure, I still get totally stressed out when any of the kiddies are upset or if someone says something that upsets me but I am finding it easier to brush off and move on.

My favorite part of my weekdays is my lunch hour. I get to go to my favorite place and sit for a whole hour! It is true bliss. I just eat my lunch, drink iced tea, catch up with old friends and most importantly now...I am remembering to talk to god. If I was a stay at home girl I wouldn't come to this place and have such a great hour. That is something I need to remember and focus on so I can create that Sunday feeling each and everyday.

I believe that god creates appointments for people and I have met a lot of wonderful people on my lunch breaks, people whom are real, genuine, kind people. I look forward to coming here and showing up for those appointments. I also now look forward to journaling..which is usually through blogging because I don't like to write...but now I can do that because I am bringing my iPad along with me to have on my lunch break. :)

I'm sure this is pretty boring for whoever out the is actually reading my blog..so just know this is my way of releasing some stress and writing out my thoughts. I would love to start blogging with pictures, but first things first..I need to write!

I hope you all have a wonderful Tuesday and that god would show you great things and make appointments for you to meet someone new.

Xoxo-Sam

Making EVERYday a Sunday

Sundays seem to be my favorite days. It is the only day (most of the time) when Peter and I both have the day off. I love spending Sundays with him. We usually go to church, find somewhere to walk around and eat, get ready for our weeks and just hang out together.

I always feel good on Sundays, church always boosts my mood and leaves me feeling refreshed and ready for the week. But then, Monday comes ... and that feeling completely disappears. I get this feeling in the pit of my stomach and I feel so down and depressed. It's like this huge let down that the weekend is over and it's back to reality. No more one on one time with Peter, no more not having to do anything at any certain time. It's all, do this..do that..go there..get that..do it all..don't stop..and it's like that for the next 5 days.

I don't know why it is so difficult for me to transition back to work mode after only 2 days...but it has always been this way for me..with school, jobs, vacations...anything really. I hate it, I don't like feeling like this..so sad.

I just want so bad to be okay going back to work, loving the idea of starting my week and seeing those little faces I get to see everyday. But for whatever reason..it isn't that easy for me. I know their is some stuff going on that plays a role in why it is so difficult for me and I am really hoping that those things get better. I am just so tired of not feeling like I am where I am supposed to be. I want to be at home in my job and I am just waiting for that feeling to kick in.

Lord, this week I pray for a sense of peace to overflow inside of me...that even though I may not feel completely at home in my job at this very moment, that I would be able to oversee the difficulties and enjoy my time there each hour and each day. I pray that these sad feelings would flee from inside me and that they would become feelings of happiness and confidence. I ask that I would be stronger and more comfortable in my place of work and not be so affected by other personalities. I need you God, I can't change all of this on my own, I am not strong enough unless I have you with me. Please, Lord, help me to see the beauty in everyday so that I can have that Sunday feeling all the days of the week.

This week I am going to work on remembering God throughout the week. He gives me strength and I can't keep leaving him at the end of every Sunday!

Amazing Grace

Amazing Grace. This song has been sung so many times at so many different types of events. Weddings, Church, Funerals and I can only imagine where else. But today was different. Amazing Grace was more than just a song being sung at church this morning. It was God literally coming over me and speaking to my heart, letting me know it was going to be okay.

Until today I had not really been feeling too close to God. Actually, very distant would be more like it. I have just been feeling closed of to that part of my life, not feeling his presence, not investing time into His word and learning more about it. Just plane far away. Today I felt God like I was feeling Him for the first time. He was there, He was in that place. He was holding me while I cried, praising Him with one arm straight up in the air. He was sitting next to me, while I was sitting in an aisle alone. Their is something about going to church by yourself that makes it so intimate. No one else was there, I was the only one in the crowd. At least that is what it felt like. This was a good thing...just me and God.

Recently I have been dealing with something that I wish I wasn't, I know we all struggle with insecurities and hardships and when we do, some of us pray to God to forgive us, make us new again..etc etc etc. But that doesn't always seem to help because even if we believe that God forgives us, we don't forgive ourselves. Well, I don't anyways. And then the worst part is that we might go and mess up again, that's the ugly in being human. We don't seem to learn the first time. But this morning, God held me so close and I forgave myself. He let me know it was okay, I will be okay.

His presence was so strong today it was almost unreal. I had chills during each song of worship and during that final song, Amazing Grace..I just lost it. But that was beautiful. I was not afraid to let my feelings show. I was standing there, tears and all worshiping Him. And He was with me the entire time.

Walking out after worship to go help with Sunday School, a man at the end of an aisle stopped me. He touched my arm and asked me if I was okay. I told him yes..ha, like he believed me, I had tears streaming down my face! But that was the truth, I was okay. He followed me out and asked if he could pray for me. A man I don't even know, maybe I met him in passing one time or another, but other than that, a complete stranger. When he prayed for me he called me his sister and I felt safe. The simple embrace of someone's touch and prayer let me know that I was not alone. For that, I thanked him.

It never seizes to amaze me how some people can be so kind, so quick to help, so obedient to God. Lord, help me to be more obedient to you, more willing to reach out to others.

Today showed me how much I have truly missed God. How much I have been pushing Him away and doing my own thing. That isn't me, I want to walk with Him. I am forever grateful that no matter what I do, at the end of the day, He still loves me and thinks I am perfect. He never leaves, so why should I? Today, I was reminded that I have been forgiven, the chains that bind me have been broken. I am free. I am new again, each and everyday. God, I want to be more like you, I want to please you and make you proud.

Amazing Grace.

Digging deep really hurts.

It feels like thorns pressing into my chest. it's so heavy all i want to do is cry.

what is it?

it's me.

it's everything i don't like about myself. it's everything i compare myself to. it's my desire to be someone else.

it's body image.

I wish so badly that i could be happy with the girl God created me to be, that i would be able to love and accept the body he placed me in. but i can't. i'm reading a really great book right now for my girls bible study and though it is a very good, though provoking book, i am having a hard time turning the pages. the chapter i'm on gets in to the deeper stuff, the body image stuff. it feels like i need support to lift my hand up just to turn the page. that's how hard it is for me to face these deep rooted issues.

on a daily basis i don't think too much about the fact that i really do deal with this stuff. i know that 24/7 my mind is constantly comparing myself to any girl around me but rarely do i ever really stop and "think" about it all. i don't think about it for a reason. it really hurts.

after each section in the book the author asks the reader to thank God for certain things, or pray to him about a specific subject. she said; "thank God for the person he created you to be." i set the book down, closed my eyes, and i couldn't. i just couldn't thank him. how can you thank someone for something you don't like?

i feel so sick, so disgusted after reading this chapter. maybe it's because this is all to serious for me, to painful. though i want to be happy with myself, it truly kills me to try and get better. it all just makes me so sick to my stomach. i'm really at a loss for words or where to even begin to come to an okay place with myself.

WE are ONE

As the third week of my new job is coming to a close i am in awe at all that i have learned in such a short amount of time. i knew going into this job i was going to be working with low income families, maybe not in the best of situations. i did not, however, know i would be going out into the community and witnessing a completely different way of life. a homeless way of life.

a big part of my job is to "recrute" families into our program. this means utilizing my resources and finding families in need of our services. so, on monday my co-worker and i went to the housing authority in SLO for low income housing. we just went to post a flyer in the office. what we didn't know was that we were going to meet a girl who would change our hearts. she was in their with her social worker hoping to find housing for herself and her 5 children all under the age of 9. this 28 year old girl starting talking to us about early head start. so..we started the application process for her two youngest children. to complete an app we need some documents so my co-worker set up a time to meet her at her house to get what we needed. she was staying at a motel 6....the next day my co-worker returned to the office with the bad news that when she arrived at the motel our girl wasn't there. bummer...we lost her. or did we? at the end of the day my co-worker decided to stop by the homeless shelter after work. who did she find!? that's right...our girl...and her kids!

on wednesday we went to the prado day center (also funded by CAPSLO) to meet up with our girl. we got some more information from her and she was really excited to see us! she let us know that she was able to get housing but can't move in until Oct. 21st. so...homeless life is what she will be living for the next few weeks. i met up with her later in the day to take her and her kids some subway. she was so sweet and hugged me and thanked me for coming. i will be checking up on her over the next few weeks..

i don't think i have ever met someone as strong as this girl. she is hiding her and her kids from their abusive father. she is doing the best she can with what she has and i admire her so much. she knows and believes that things will get better and she is ready to do whatever it takes to keep her kids safe. in my eyes, she wins for mom of the year.

knowing that i work for such a wonderful company is such a blessing. i honestly had no idea of all the wonderful things CAPSLO does for the community. and now, i get to be a part of that! we try our best to serve those in need on the central coast..but their is only so much we can do. the prado day center and homeless center are amazing but need so much help at the same time. it's not the cleanest of places and the help is few and far between. God was tugging on my heart yesterday.. pretty hard i might add. i think seeing the old man in the wheel chair is what tugged my heart the hardest. no one should have to be homeless...but an old man!? no way...not okay with me.

WE are all ONE and we need to take care of eachother. count your blessings if you live under a roof, have a bed, or even just a blanket! we need to help eachother out. their is too much poverty in this world...so love your neighbor! i know where i will be this thanksgiving.. where will you be?